32 Lessons at 32 — Dawson Peck

Every year around my birthday I do this weird little ritual where I re-read a running list of things I’ve written down — usually after I’ve done something dumb, or after something hard, or after someone I love was patient enough to share a hard truth.

So I did what I always do: opened the notes app where I dump the little rules and reminders I’ve picked up, then cleaned it up enough to be legible to someone besides me.

This is one of those posts that’s mostly written to myself, with the door cracked open. A lot of these are aspirational. Some are things I’m actively failing at while typing this. But they’re the closest thing I have to a compass, and once a year I like to update it as a small act of accountability.

This year I decided to share it in case any of it is useful — or at least entertaining — in your own brain.

You are where you are because there’s a network of people supporting you. Say thank you more often than you do.
Leave a big enough tip that the server smiles when they see it.
Curiosity is the most valuable skill in the world. Lean into it, especially when it costs you something.
Happiness isn’t found in the paycheck; it’s found in the lack of friction between who you are and what you do. Find the job that fits your strengths.
When something hard happens, grant yourself some time to grieve — but set a timer. Could be an hour, or could be a month. When it goes off, do one thing that’s fun and one thing that’s hard. Do that every day until you’ve moved on.
Alcohol ruins more lives and relationships than anything. Avoid it. No version of your life is improved by being drunk.
The best way to become more like the people you admire is not to copy their actions, it is to seek what they were seeking.
If you aren’t getting your ass kicked you’re in the wrong room.
Taking care of yourself makes you better at taking care of others. Figure out exactly what refills your tank — whether it’s silence, a vacation, or a specific person — and learn to ask for it without apologizing.
One of the great joys in life is knowing a person deep enough to see their quirks and their flaws. Learn to love those parts — you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Live below your means for 364 days a year so that on the 365th, you can be the friend who says, “I’ve got the bill.” A night out is so much more fun when no one is worried about the money.
99% of the reasons why you can’t do something are imaginary.
Assume that the person you’re talking to knows more than you do.
Learn how to hold anger and compassion at the same time. Everyone gets mad… few can say “I love you” in the heat of the moment.
If you’re failing at a task, no one will care. If you’re failing without communicating or asking for help, then you’re in trouble.
Receiving a hand written card feels amazing. Give that gift every chance you get.
Save enough cash to go 12 months without work. It is the only way to ensure you’re making decisions based on your values rather than your fears.
Go to therapy. Especially if you think you don’t need it. You can either spend twenty years bumping into the same invisible walls, or spend one year learning where the walls are.
Learn how to take good pictures. They reward you for the rest of your life.
Find ways to create new memories with friends, instead of sitting around talking about old ones. Go on trips together, get in trouble, make mistakes.
People who read are usually more interesting than people who don’t.
Your biggest weaknesses exist because of your biggest strengths. You can’t have one without the other. Learn to love the weaknesses too.
FaceTime the people you love.
Say no to the obligations that no longer serve you. But give a radical “Yes” to anything new, even if it’s inconvenient. If you’ve never done it before, the adventure is worth the hassle.
The best way to understand a person is to learn what they do in their free time, and why they do it.
Put yourself in situations where you don’t belong. It’s the only way to learn what’s really for you.
Be the friend that others call when they need help moving.
Hard conversations are a privilege… it means something is at stake.
Discover your value system and write it down. Use it as your compass through hard decisions.
If your political views aren’t changing, you aren’t seeking enough new opinions.
The nights you’ll remember with a group of friends often happen when the TV is off.
Stop living for an imaginary audience. Whether you are writing an essay, choosing a career, or decorating a house, stop asking how it will “land.” When you do things for yourself, the “stuck” parts of your life finally find somewhere to go.

Thanks for reading! This post was fun to write, and it makes me happy seeing it shared, so please pass along to anyone that would enjoy it!